9th December Christchurch .. again….I left Akaroa this morning in bright sunshine and blue skies – a hard place to say goodbye to. I have the liberty of *FREE* internet in this hotel (more about the hotel later) so I can indulge myself and blog till I can’t blog no more.. this means that this post will be a longy – so you better get a cup of tea and a biccie or something. I fell in love with Akaroa, it really has everything. I planned to be there for 3 days and stayed almost a week in the Akaroa Village Inn ’safari’ apartment. I think this happens to people a lot and some never leave. Take a case in point – I had my hair done in Akaroa (highlights and a cut for the bargain price of $104 or about 4o quid) and a lovely woman called Beth told me her story. She came to visit and 2 years later is still here.. in a hair salon. You meet people on the street, or sitting on a bench, or drinking (excellent) coffee in on of the fine cafes overlooking the bay, and they all tell you a story of either moving there after visiting once, or wishing they could move there! This morning I paid my safari bill (about 50 quid each night) and had breakfast in the cafe below the hotel. Toast and jam with a ‘flat white’ which in English is a coffee with steamed milk But.. I hear you say.. isn’t that a cappucinno? well no it isn’t… ordering coffee in Australia and New Zealand is an art, and you had better learn or you get some confused baristas giving you that “hurry up and order’ look while you try to make sense of ‘long blacks’ ‘flat whites’ ’short whites’ etc… anywhere else you could be done for sizeist or racist abuse! Anyway, I talk about this breakfast because in all my time here I have yet to be served a ‘bad’ breccie. New Zealanders do cafe culture really well, and it seems to me there is a bit of a competition going on as to who can do the best coffee, toast, muffins, egg & bacon… whatever. In a place like Akaroa it is more acute since they all operate close to each other and it is natural for visitors to taste each place to compare them in an average 3-5 day stay. So I did try them all and I can announce that the winners are (Oscar style)….
- In the category of best ‘flat white’ the award goes to “Ma Maison” (I liked the fern leaf swirl in the frothy milk topping)
- In the category of best toast, the award goes to ‘Cafe Cirque’ (4 huge chunky toasted bread soldiers and home made jam)
- In the category of best hosts the award goes to “Turenne” who also provided excellent internet services ( I practically moved in!)
Actually they are all good, except for one place on the waterfront who did their best to ignore me completely even though I was the only customer they had… So, after my breccie I had some time to kill before the bus arrived to whick me back to Christchurch. I walked to the end of the wharf to sit on a bench and look for dolphins in the early morning stillness. No dolphins, but an old bloke (don’t know his name) sat there too. We exchanged ‘hellos’ then started to chat about the weather.. nice day… where you from.. type things. He lives there, has all his life as a lumberjack. He told me about how one time this whole area was covered in native bush. He spoke fondly about it and with a touch of sadness that it is now almost all gone replaced with sheep grazing. With a distant look in his eyes, I didn’t like to point out that his job was probably not the best one to have if cutting down trees upsets him. He also told me about all the ‘new money’ coming into Akaroa. A new home built behind the wharf up on the hill cost $8million, and there are plenty more like it.. ‘The young folk can’t afford to live here’, he told me. ‘ All money from overseas and Jafa;’s’ (Jafa’s are the lcoal affectionate term for auckland residents…. there are so many of them in Auckland (3million) that non jafa’s have a term for them ‘Just Another ‘effin’ Aucklander’ .We then got onto talking about the destruction of forests, the environment, the need for alternative fuels. etc etc.. it was all a bit heavy for me… I just wanted to sit and kill time looking for dolphins… Oh well. He was a nice bloke. I made my excuses and left to make sure the bus didn’t go without me. At 10am the sun was already burning ( that have hardly any ozone here) and I sought some shade. Watching the seagulls annoying visitors I spotted a couple with a toddler – both adults and toddler wearing identical red trousers and lurid green tshirt with red trainers.. I guessed they must be europeans and probably German – I was right! The father told the child not to play with a local dog (a scrappy terrier which hangs around the streets while his equally scrappy seadog of an owner tinkers with his scrappy car and scrappy boat) and it came out in german. Soon after the bus arrived and my heart sank – because sitting in the passenger seat was a woman I met briefly last week when I took the bus into Akaroa. She appears to have some authority over the bus staff, last week she rudely spoke to me interrupting my conversation with the driver about where to drop me in Akaroa with my luggage. She has no customer skills at all and even less charm. So, I boarded the bus whilst the frankly petrified driver put my bag in the back. The woman demanded my ticket and my name and in the same breadth told the drive to hurry up as we were already late ( I had delayed him by the usual small talk outside). I gave here a look which said ” don’t mind me – I’m just the customer” and gave her my ticket. She doesn’t belong in Akaroa, she is definitely a city person. Seconds into the 90 minute journey she began her endless nagging at the driver, criticising him, correcting him, telling him when to change gear, when to stop, when to pull out.. you get the idea. After a junction turn she told him to stop at the information centre to collect some people – it was clear by now, it was the driver’s first day on the job and he had no idea where the information centre was and she (helpfully) didn’t tell him. So, inevitably he almost drove past it, until she shrieked ‘STOPPPPP!’ and he slammed on the brakes. We collected 2 more passengers who also got the cold shoulder from ‘mrs charm’ and we left Akaroa behind….. I think we also left our wits behind too. the journey was really stressful, all of us as passengers exchanging looks to say ” who the hell does she think she is?” and pitying the driver. None of us said a word as this woman continued non-stop to bullwhip him with verbal abuse and patronising comments – oddly, she would stop for a pause then make some passing comment about people she knows who live here and there along the way, as if making polite conversation, then she reverted to her whiplashing. Really odd, but strangely entertaining. I really thought the driver was going to explode, but he just took it. Even when he crunched the gears up steep hills over and over, and she tutted under her breath, he never said a bad word to her. We passed a small village, she told him ” the bus never stops here, just keep driving” and just seconds later, and I am not making this up, she yelled “STOPPPP!” at him again. A lad on the roadside was flagging the bus down hopefully. She looked at the driver like he was an idiot and said “we’re picking him up, this is where you should stop to collect people from this spot” … I think at this point, the driver, the passengers, and very shortly after the newcomer took his seat, he too joined us in the realisation that Mrs Charm was stark raving bonkers and a control freak. I can only compare her to Hyacinth Bucket and her long suffering husband at the wheel of their car. About an hour later, still poking at him with her comments, she told him to drop her off at a crossroads in a small town outside Christchurch with strict instruction to pick her up again on his return. As the doors closed, we all breathed a sigh of relief, and the guy sitting up front said to the driver ” you must have the patience of a saint mate!” To which the driver just shrugged. The atmosphere was much improved and jovial with banter and jokes taking us into Christchurch. As I got my luggage from the driver I wished him good luck, and suggested instead of picking up Mrs Charm later he should just leave her there! Dragging my bag for ten minutes I arrived at HOTEL SO in Christchurch for one more night of luxury before hitting the Hostels again tomorrow. Hotel So is a new concept in city hotels and is simply Fabulous! The entrance has horizontal strips of neon lights in pink, yellow, green and blue, the lobby is done in beechwood and white and could be used as a locaton for an APPLE or Ipod advert – it is coooool! The lift takes you up each floor by lighting up a neon shape for every level to match the colours outside the building and the rooms are like space pods! My room is small, sure.. but it is coooool! A blue neon light under the bed gives the room a space shuttle feeling. The bathroom is behind a curving sliding door and houses futuristic fittings with a ‘mood’ light which you can change colour – I have gone for pink, but may well change to blue later.. or maybe green. we’ll see. There is a plasma screen at the end of the double bed and next to my pillow is a ‘control centre’ – the heartbeat of the room where you control your personal environment. Here are some cooooool features:
- The Mood light (I mentioned it already but it is soo cooooool it needs mention again!
- The snooze function…. set this for 15,30,45 or 60 mins and the room ‘goes to sleep’ slowly ..designed to send you drifting off to sleep
- 29 channels on tv… webcams from the bar downstairs, the lobby, the internet (which is 4 APPLE MACs on white counters with white stools – you get the picture) outside on the street… you can be a voyeur if you want!
- The mood channels… these are 4 types of mood images from around New Zealand set to chill out music – oceans, mountains, pasture, beaches… lovely. In the lobby are 6 screens which play the same channels 24 hours as you walk in the door.
- The virtual Concierge.. an interactive touch screen in the lobby
- A SO Welcome pack in the room – small boxes like Christmas presents containing shampoos, coffee and tea, sweets…….
- The wake up… a reverse of the snooze.. gently wakes you with the ’sunshine’ light and the mood channel on TV
If you come to Christchurch, stay here. That is all I have to say.So. Dumping my bags, taking a shower and walking out into the Christchurch afternoon sunshine I headed for the local supermarket (it is really hard to find good fresh food in the city centre) to buy fresh fruit and veg to make myself a healthy dinner in the communal and funky Hotel So kitchen. An hour later, after walking half an hour with a heavy bag of goceries including fresh chicken, veg, stiry fry sauce etc etc….. I stood in the Hotel So kitchen and my only thought was “Bugger”. In my haste and excitement at finding the ’sooooo cooooool!’ kitchen with dishwasher, endless supply of corckery, recycling bins, toaster, waffle maker etc etc etc… I didnlt notice that the bloddy ‘kitchen’ has no cooker, hob or pots and pans! So I now have loads of (expensive) fresh food and only a microwave at my disposal. I have 2 choices:
- Chop everything, microwave it separately on a plates, assemble it together on another plate, eat stir fry (hopefully not raw), put stuff in dishwasher.
- Walk half a mile down the street to the YHA.. sneak into the kitchen and use their stuff.
Still not sure, will let you know what decision I make. So what about the Freedom of the open road? After 3 months of buses and group travel I have decided to go it alone with a hire car, a vague plan of places I want to see and the very best ve-hickle that OMEGA can provide for $39 per day including insurance and an excess of $1000 for scrapes (maybe I should take out the extra insurance $9 pre day to reduce the excess to $500 – or not?). First I am heading north to Kaikora for a second attempt at Whale watching (it was cancelled on Nov 17th) then across to Hamner Springs for some therapy in the natural hot pools and spa… then south to Dunedin, Invercargill, Bluff (most southerly point), Stewart Island and back to Queenstown to dump the car and fly to Auckland where I collect another car and continue on my merry way… to somewhere I’ve not yet been, probably to Cape Reinga (the most northerly point) and the Bay of Plenty before returning to Auckland for New Year fireworks on the harbour. My only slight glich is my lack of accommodation for Christmas………. a small concern, since most Kiwis book their Christmas hotels in June and I have, well, left it too late! Even the hostels are booked out with backpackers. It may well be my first Christmas sleeping in the back of a small but economical hire car.I only hope that Santa can squeeze up the exhaust pipe to deliver my presents!I must go now because no doubt you’ve drunk your tea and have better things to do now.. and there is a guy behind me who keeps trying to clear his throat of whatever nasty substances are blocking his ‘tubes’ and I really can’t sit here and listen to the noises he is making… and I fee an urge to go back to my room and change my mood lighting! *********** UPDATE************UPDATE************Dinner was a success! I chose to stay in the hotel – partly because I was watching ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’ on SkyMovies, and partly cos I am too lazy to walk to the YHA and afraid of the rejection if I got caught using their kitchen….. so, I chopped a courgette, onion, pepper and raw chicken with an eating knife (no sharp knives) microwaved everything and it sort of worked…… I was under the curious scrutiny of a woman who looked like she was from China but said she came from Sydney – in a very chinese accent so I am sticking to my first assumption. She was waiting for me to free up the microwave sho she could heat up her food – and I kid you not – her ‘fod’ consisted of an open tin of nothing more exciting and appetising as… wait for it…. wait a bit longer…… ready?… are you sure?.. she had no sauces or anythig else to make it tasty…. OK I’ll tell you – her dinner was a tin of corned beef. Corned beef, on its own, wth nothing else. I served up my dish of chicken stiry fry splendour and make a swift exit. Some people are just wierd. At least the throaty bloke was gone so I could eat in peace and quiet on the white tables of the Hotel So lounge…. must go now… Harry Potter is doing battle with Voldemort in the graveyard of his father! Then it’s time for a Kevin Coster Movie about life guards or something……..
